


among the teacups

by hashire



Series: my heart under my feet [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Butler and housekeeper, F/M, Gen, Kinda, Lots of dialogue, Misunderstandings, Unreliable Narrator, unrequited jeankasa (background)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-13 21:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14121153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hashire/pseuds/hashire
Summary: The tenure of Miss Mikasa Ackerman as housekeeper in Ackerman Manor.





	among the teacups

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with the basic idea for this in April 2014. And, let me tell you, the first few idea drafts or whatever were bad. So, so bad. I’ve been working on this on and off in the past 4 years, and I think it’s benefited from the time taken.  
> Anyway, this is inspired by _The Remains of the Day_ by Kazuo Ishiguro. After the first time I read that book, I wanted to write something based on it because ~~I’m a loser who has no original ideas~~ I find inspiration in the things that I read. That is why some things are they way they are in the fic (dialogue, specifically) The setting is only vaguely British and it's probably littered with American English; please pardon that.  
> 

“Miss Mikasa Ackerman. I’ve heard she’s quite beautiful.”

“Beauty is not a quality we should be looking for in a housekeeper, Lord Ackerman.” The man behind him wheezes out a laugh. He taps the rim of his pipe against the ashtray.

“Beauty is a quality I look for in most of my staff – I made an exception for you, Levi.” He laughs again, busying himself with cleaning his pipe while Levi pores over the paperwork. 

“She has little experience,” he notes. Lord Ackerman lights his pipe and settles in the chair next to Levi.

“That can be taken care of,” he insists, exhaling a long plume of smoke.

“I don’t have the time to spare for training a rookie.” Levi sets the paperwork on the table. Lord Ackerman waves an impatient hand at him, disturbing the smoke in front of him.

“You’re too concerned with the less important details, Levi. Don’t worry about it.”

Levi doesn’t have time to argue further. There’s a knock on the door to the smoking room. Jean appears when called for.

“A Miss Mikasa Ackerman for an interview, Lord Ackerman.” Levi doesn’t miss the flush on his face, and he’s certain Lord Ackerman doesn’t either. The wide grin on the man’s face, his thin lips stretched over yellowing teeth, tells Levi he is correct. Jean lingers at the door after showing the young woman in. 

Her hair is pulled back into a smart twist and her dress is dark and modest. She bows her head when she meets Levi’s gaze.

“Miss Mikasa Ackerman. What a lovely name.” Lord Ackerman leans forward to take in her full stature. “Your father from around here?”

“No,” she says softly, sitting when Lord Ackerman sweeps his hand toward the chair in front of them. She expands on the answer with the addition of, “Germany.”

“Hmm. I have no family out there. What about you, Levi?”

“None,” he says. Her gaze on him is curious but guarded. He can’t read her and doesn’t try to. She’s the fifth of five candidates: the last of the interviews. The rest have more experience than she does.

Lord Ackerman waves a hand at Levi. “Levi Ackerman, my head butler. Not too chatty at the moment. You’ll be working closely with him.” The lord’s word choice causes Levi to look away from Miss Ackerman and over at him. He’s made up his mind already.

“I look forward to it,” she replies. There’s a soft musicality to her words: one that was not apparent in the clipped phrases and answers she offered before. Levi watches as Lord Ackerman wheezes out another laugh.

“I’m sure you do. Be careful, however: he’s not used to the attention of beautiful women.”

Levi scoffs. “This is a completely professional setting. I’ve operated well with the previous housekeepers.”

“None of them were as beautiful as the woman in front of us, Levi. Even you can’t deny it.” Levi looks back over at Miss Ackerman. She folds her hand in her lap and watches him as though she’s waiting for some rebuttal. 

She speaks before Levi can navigate a response to Lord Ackerman’s bait. “I will work to maintain a professional relationship, Lord Ackerman.” Lord Ackerman’s eyes sparkle, something Levi has rarely – if ever – seen. 

“It will be a pleasure having you, Miss Ackerman. Do you mind if I call you by your first name?”

“If you prefer, Lord Ackerman.” She continues to watch Levi, as if she’s waiting for a reaction. He betrays nothing.

“We’ll have to contact your references first, to be fair to the other candidates.” Levi taps the papers on the table in front of him. She nods.

“Of course.” 

“I have other matters to attend to, since it seems we are finished here. Good afternoon, Miss Ackerman.”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Ackerman.” Lord Ackerman is smiling at him: a devious, dark expression. He doesn’t have to look back to see it. He can feel it following him as he stands. He feels the weight of a second gaze on him as he walks out of the room. 

He finds Jean lingering in the hall when he enters it, shutting the door to the smoking room behind him. “I was under the impression that you would be busy all day, Jean. I’m certain I can find other tasks for you to complete.” Jean jumps at the sound of his voice, the anticipation on his face shifting to displeasure.

“I was hoping to see Miss Ackerman out,” he says. Levi raises an eyebrow.

“Lord Ackerman will likely take care of that. He is working through the minutiae of the position.” Levi looks at the windows to his left. Cleaning them would be an acceptable job for an idle footman.

Jean’s eyes light up. “She’s been chosen for the position already?” But cleaning windows would be too easy of a job. He would also have a chance to encounter Miss Ackerman again: another excuse for him to become less productive.

“Yes. Now, since you have time to chat about this, I believe Lord Ackerman’s automobile –”

“I apologize for my disregarding of my duties, Mr. Ackerman. I will take care of them at once!”

Levi can’t remember the last time Jean was so eager to go about his work. Perhaps the addition of Miss Ackerman would lead to greater productivity. 

In that case, he, too, looked forward to her impending employment.

-

Levi brings Lord Ackerman his nightly drink after dismissing the cook. The room is smoky when he arrives, so he takes care to open a window despite the muggy night air. 

“Miss Mikasa will be a lovely addition to our staff,” Lord Ackerman says, sipping his drink. He swirls the liquid in his tumbler, looking satisfied with himself. “Don’t you agree, Levi?”

“Time will tell, Lord Ackerman.” 

“Surely you have more to add than that.”

“I do not, Lord Ackerman.”

“You were tense during this interview.”

“I can assure you I was relaxed.”

Lord Ackerman waves a hand at him. “You can tell me how you really feel, Levi. I’ll not reveal it to anyone else.”

“I certainly hope she will bring as much to our staff as you believe she will.”

“She was looking at you with great interest when you left, Levi.”

“I did not notice as I do not have eyes in the back of my head.”

Lord Ackerman lets out a cracking laugh. “I’ve never pegged you for a fool, Levi.”

“Perhaps it is because I am not a fool, Lord Ackerman.”

He laughs harder. “You really have no further opinions on Miss Mikasa?”

“I do not.”

“I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re holding back, Levi.”

“I can’t imagine why you would think that, Lord Ackerman. I’ve never withheld anything from you.” 

Lord Ackerman takes a sip of his drink, grinning after he swallows. “Of course, Levi. Of course.” He then finishes the drink with one more go. “Now, Levi, tell me what you think of Miss Mikasa.”

Levi sighs, shaking his head. Lord Ackerman leans forward in his chair, pressing his palms against the wooden surface of his desk. “She was interesting, Lord Ackerman,” he offers.

Lord Ackerman smirks at him, tapping his pipe against the ashtray. 

“Since you are finished with your drink, I will retire for the night, Lord Ackerman.”

“Certainly, Levi.” He takes the glass and leaves without a word. Lord Ackerman’s wheezing laugh follows him out.

-

Miss Ackerman arrives with one large bag in each hand and raindrops in her hair. Her overcoat is dotted from the fall shower. 

Jean expressed desire to show her to her room, but Levi dismisses him and brings Sasha, one of the maids, out for the job. She and Miss Ackerman fall into easy conversation, and they disappear for most of the day.

Lord Ackerman calls Levi and Miss Ackerman into his study that night after she reappeared at dinner.

“I intend to have a conference,” he announces, leaning back in his chair. “A meeting of the best minds in the country to discuss the future of our great land.”

“It’s unfortunate you won’t be able to attend, Lord Ackerman.” Levi catches Miss Ackerman turning her head toward him out of the corner of his eye; her expression is unreadable but certainly surprised.

Lord Ackerman ignores him, continuing, “I hope this isn’t too much of a burden in your first months of employment, Miss Mikasa.” She turns back to Lord Ackerman.

“I will do my best,” she says, folding her hands in front of her. Levi studies her profile and finds apprehension in the furrow of her brow. If she notices him looking, she doesn’t show it. 

Lord Ackerman, however, watches them with steepled fingers, hiding a smile behind them. His smile holds scheming that Levi can’t fathom.

“Miss Mikasa, I’m sure Levi will be glad to help you throughout this process.” Levi scowls, and Miss Ackerman catches his eye. He then realizes he was staring and faces forward.

“I will try to fit it into my schedule but cannot guarantee anything.” 

Lord Ackerman then waves them off, his posture and affect satisfied. Levi says nothing as they walk in different directions. He senses that Miss Ackerman wants to speak with him further, but he does not have the time for it.

-

The following weeks are spent making and revising notes, only to discard them as Lord Ackerman changes his mind on how he wishes for this conference to go. Miss Ackerman is fastidious in her work and asks him thoughtful questions.

It leads them to spend time in his parlor during the day and occasionally into the evening.

“It’s such a nice day,” she says, looking out the window. “I was hoping to take a walk while the sun is still out.”

He, too, looks out the window. It’s late in the afternoon, right on the edge of the evening. “Surely there is time now to do so, Miss Ackerman. I see no reason to hesitate.”

“Perhaps you could join me, Mr. Ackerman.”

“I must decline, Miss Ackerman. I am working on rewriting the plans for Lord Ackerman again and have to record his changes before they slip my mind.”

“A few minutes will make no difference, Mr. Ackerman. We can discuss them while we walk.”

“I assure you they will, Miss Ackerman, and this needs no further discussion. If you are wanting company, I’m certain Sasha would be happy to join you.”

“Sasha has retired for the evening. She claimed to be feeling ill.”

“Perhaps the walk will help.” He picks up his papers and taps them against the table. Miss Ackerman’s face is half-hidden by the glare of the sun.

“I don’t believe it would.” She looks out the window again. He studies her profile, turning away a moment before she looks back into the room. “I think I will rest this evening in my quarters to prepare for the forthcoming days. Good afternoon, Mr. Ackerman.”

She swishes away before he can comment on her sudden mood swing, though it would have been on the side of unprofessional. Perhaps it is for the best.

He runs a hand through his hair, taking care to pull the curtains down to shield his vision from the sun.

“A walk would have been pleasant,” he muses aloud, “if not potentially inappropriate.” 

-

The conference begins in early December after being postponed twice. 

“I’m quite pleased with the number of attendees who allowed for such delays: and without complaint!”

“Perhaps they found it to be more convenient for their schedules, Lord Ackerman.”

“I cannot imagine why you would think such a thing, Levi! I’ve drawn many an audience in my day. My advanced age means that they will be only more willing to listen to me opine.”

“Of course, Lord Ackerman.” Lord Ackerman nods to himself, turning in his chair.

“A lovely first day for a conference, isn’t it, Miss Mikasa?” The young woman jumps at the sound of her name. She folds the piece of paper she had been reading into her pocket and nods. “Not quite as lovely as you, of course. I think it would be quite fitting to have you greet all of the guests as they arrive.”

Levi stands behind Lord Ackerman, directly opposite of Miss Ackerman and in her line of vision. She looks up at him. He offers no response to her silent questions.

“I wouldn’t want to impose my presence if not necessary. Mr. Ackerman informed me –”

“Never mind what Levi says, Miss Mikasa.” He flips a page of the newspaper and shakes it out with a sharp crinkling noise. “I make the final decisions around here. Right, Levi?”

“Are you finished with your breakfast, Lord Ackerman?” The man glances at the mostly uneaten eggs and half-gone sausage from behind his paper. He settles back in his seat and starts folding the sections.

“I suppose. Take it away, Levi.” Miss Ackerman moves to follow him out the door. Her posture is stiff: she is uncomfortable. “Miss Mikasa, I would like to speak to you further about today’s plans.” 

She stops but doesn’t turn. “I was hoping to consult with Sasha, since I had been anticipating working closely with her –”

“Levi can do that.” Lord Ackerman tosses his newspaper beside him. He picks up his pipe and lights it.

“I cannot.” He’s still standing in the doorway, laden with the tray of uneaten food. He should have been down the hall and almost to the kitchen already. 

Lord Ackerman takes off his reading glasses to rub his eyes with one hand, balancing the pipe in the other. He frowns at them. Miss Ackerman has inched closer to Levi. 

“All right. Go talk to your staff. I expect you back before I finish smoking, Miss Mikasa.” He raises the pipe to his lips, the motions exaggerated. 

“Thank you, Lord Ackerman.” She bows her head before hurrying after Levi. “A word, if I might, Mr. Ackerman.”

“I am presently occupied, Miss Ackerman. I hope it will only take a moment.” The tray weighs down his arms. He looks back at her. The expression on her face shifts from discomfort to a smooth slate-like appearance.

“I promise I will not bother you for long.” She takes a long breath in. “Now, tell me, Mr. Ackerman, am I incorrect in assuming that Lord Ackerman chose me for reasons other than my admittedly limited experience?”

He mulls over the answers he could give, watching her as he thinks. She opens her mouth again, but he responds before she can begin speaking.

“I would not say you’re incorrect, Miss Ackerman.” She stares at him as she digests his words.

“Answer me this, Mr. Ackerman: do you agree with his decision?” He shifts his weight to his other foot. The dishes on the tray rattle. 

“I really had no say in the matter. As Lord Ackerman said earlier, he makes the final decisions. I’m often left without a say in some of the more important discussions and determinations. Now, if you’ll excuse me –”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ackerman, but I won’t excuse you. I must know. I refuse to believe that you have such little say in what happens in the manor. Surely he consults with you –”

“You overestimate the importance of my opinion, Miss Ackerman. Now, if you’ll excuse me –”

“I will, Mr. Ackerman, but I would prefer we spoke more on this subject. Can you spare some time for me later?”

He sighs. The clock strikes the hour down the hall. “If the day goes smoothly, I will consider setting aside some time, Miss Ackerman, but I can’t promise you anything considering there is little more to discuss on the matter.”

He walks away from her, hearing a huff and a few half smothered words sent in his direction. She goes off in the opposite direction.

-

Miss Ackerman excuses herself before dinner, citing a headache. Sasha quietly insists on accompanying her to her room. Levi dismisses them without Lord Ackerman's permission; he's too busy to be bothered.

"Levi!" he calls some time later, following a few glasses of wine and a tumbler of hard liquor, "Where is Miss Mikasa? My guests were hoping she would continue to grace us with her presence."

"She fell ill earlier this evening, Lord Ackerman. She excused herself half an hour ago."

"Ill? She was perfectly fine earlier! Go find her and bring her out. I'll determine how well she is."

"I'm too busy to do so at the moment, Lord Ackerman. I apologize."

"Jean!" The underbutler looks up at the sound of his name. His expression is a mix of apprehension and excitement.

"Yes, Lord Ackerman? Would you like me to fetch Miss Ackerman?"

"No, no," Lord Ackerman says, waving an impatient hand. "I want you to take over for Levi while he fetches her." Levi stares at him. There's a light in the man's eye that is anything but trustworthy. "Go on," he says, waving his hand again.

Levi sighs, pushes the tray he's been carrying into the hands of a more wilted Jean, and leaves.

Laughter follows him out. He hears his name in Lord Ackerman's voice before another laugh. This assignment is likely an attempt to make him look foolish, though he cannot figure out how as he stalks through the dim halls of Ackerman Manor.

The door to Miss Ackerman's room is ajar, the light from inside spilling out onto the floor in front of him. He sighs again after a deep inhale. He pauses. His presence has not been noticed.

He hears a sob from inside, followed by a hushing noise.

"I-I c-can't handle this," Miss Ackerman says, stopping to draw in a great breath.

"You won't have to for much longer," Sasha says.

Through the crack in the door, he sees Miss Ackerman's form, hunched on the bed. Her face is turned away. Sasha’s calloused hand reaches up to brush her hair back. He sees the tear streaks on her cheek. Sasha uses a thumb to brush another tear away.

"I don't know what to do."

They jump at the sound of his sharp knock. Miss Ackerman hurries to rearrange her hair and wipe her face. Sasha looks on with concern, saying nothing. Miss Ackerman clears her throat.

"Yes, Mr. Ackerman? How may I help you?"

"Lord Ackerman is requesting your presence, Miss Ackerman." She deflates but looks at him with confusion.

"I was dismissed forty-five minutes ago, Mr. Ackerman." Her voice wavers, but she maintains composure. Sasha pats her hand.

"Indeed, Miss Ackerman. I didn't consult with Lord Ackerman when I dismissed you. He would like to determine if you are truly ill."

"Did you not tell him that I am, Mr. Ackerman?"

"You continue to overestimate the weight of my opinion, Miss Ackerman."

"Did you tell him that I am not well?"

"I did, but he refused to believe me."

Her eyes widen. "I refuse to go back out there, Mr. Ackerman. He can come to me."

"What a great inconvenience that would be for him, Miss Ackerman."

"I'll make myself sick, Mr. Ackerman."

"That is entirely unnecessary, Miss Ackerman."

"I fail to see how it is unnecessary when you insist on dragging me back out there."

"Lord Ackerman insists. I am merely his messenger whose opinion is not highly regarded."

"You allowed me to leave, Mr. Ackerman. Why are you persisting?"

"If I were to leave, Miss Ackerman, I would return shortly. Lord Ackerman is not in the mood for this."

"My health is of so little regard to him, then?"

"From what I understand. You're drawing this out unnecessarily, Miss Ackerman."

"It's an act of self-preservation, Mr. Ackerman." Her mouth is set and her eyes are focused, if not a bit bloodshot.

"Of course. I suppose I will return promptly."

"Please request Lord Ackerman to return with you." He doesn't respond as he is already walking away.

Jean is standing outside the dining hall, holding the tray and fidgeting. He perks up when he sees Levi.

"Mr. Ackerman, I - "

"You can set the tray down, Jean." He does so. 

"Where is Miss Ackerman?"

"In her room, being stubborn."

"Is she well?"

"She is not, but she refuses to accept that Lord Ackerman will not listen to me." Jean is silent as Levi reenters the hall.

"Levi!" Lord Ackerman's voice booms over the others. "Where is Miss Mikasa?"

"In her room. She insists that she is too ill to return."

"Is she?"

"She is."

Lord Ackerman squints at him and waves him closer. Levi adjusts his coat before approaching. Lord Ackerman frowns at him.

"Why do you feel it necessary to cover for Miss Mikasa?"

"I am simply relaying her words to you, Lord Ackerman. I cannot force her to accompany me back to the hall."

"Certainly you of all people should be able to do that." He grins, holding up his fresh glass of wine. 

"I believe Sasha would be a better choice."

"Sasha doesn't have her eye on Miss Mikasa like you do." There's a laugh off to his right.

“It is imperative that I keep my eye on her, Lord Ackerman. I manage the entire staff.”

“That’s not what I mean, Levi.”

“Then what do you mean, Lord Ackerman?”

“Bring her out here and we’ll discuss the matter further.”

There are a few drunken cheers halfway down the table.

“I will do my best to persuade her,” he says, exiting to more laughter. He passes by Jean again but continues walking before he can speak. The trip to Miss Ackerman’s room takes less time than before.

The door is closed when he arrives. He knocks on the door more sharply.

“Miss Ackerman,” he starts, “I –” but he is cut off by the door swinging open. He expects Sasha but is faced with Miss Ackerman. She combed her hair in his absence and appears to have washed her face.

“Yes, Mr. Ackerman?” She gathers up her hair and twists it into a loose bun.

“Lord Ackerman has requested your presence.” She adjusts her blouse, smoothing down the collar.

“Does he?”

“Yes, Miss Ackerman. We discussed this at length already.” She reaches down to tug at her stockings. Levi looks away. “If you are intending to present yourself as too ill to entertain, your efforts will most certainly fall short now.”

“You misunderstand, Mr. Ackerman. While you were away, I considered the situation and felt it would be best to appear shortly for Lord Ackerman and his guests.”

“I assure you he will not be satisfied with a few moments.” She turns away, stepping further into her room. He stands just outside the door, waiting without a word.

“All right, then,” she says, returning more composed than ever, “please, escort me to the dining hall.” She pauses. “I feel I must note that I truly do feel ill.”

“I’m aware, Miss Ackerman.” Her eyes flash, but she says nothing. The silence that remains between them is heavy.

“Miss Ackerman, Lord Ackerman.” Lord Ackerman claps his hands together at their return.

“I knew Miss Mikasa wouldn’t be able to resist you, Levi.” The guests laugh like this is all some grand joke. Miss Ackerman presses her lips together. “Now, Miss Mikasa, how do you feel?”

“Very ill, Lord Ackerman. I do think it was unfair to –” Her sentence cuts off with a loss of balance. She stumbles toward Levi. “Oh, I –” She falls inside his arms. He’s knocked backward.

“Miss Mikasa! Are you feeling all right?” Levi lowers her to the floor, feeling for a pulse.

“She’s breathing,” he announces.

“Take her back to her room, Levi.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think I will be able to carry her that far.” He flicks his eyes back to her face, noting a subtle movement.

“Jean!” The under butler appears in the doorway. “You’re strong, aren’t you?” He nods, looking over at the still unconscious Miss Ackerman. “Carry Miss Mikasa back to her room, please.”

Jean’s cheeks stain red at the suggestion, but he simply nods again. Levi offers help by lifting her head up. A few obscene noises follow them out. 

“Fetch Sasha,” Levi tells Jean when he sets Miss Ackerman down. He waits until Jean’s footsteps recede. “Quite the performance, Miss Ackerman. Have you considered a career in acting?” There’s no response. He watches for a reaction but finds none in her smooth features.

“Make sure she wakes up all right,” he says to Sasha when she rushes in. He walks to the door, stopping to add, “And please inform her that I understand she is too ill to meet with me this evening as she requested.”

“Of course,” Sasha ducks her head so Levi can’t see her face.

The mood in the dining room is more subdued when he returns. 

-

“I’m sure there will be no argument if I deign to excuse Miss Ackerman tomorrow.” Lord Ackerman is smoking in his study, making notes of the day.

“Whatever you feel is best, Levi.”

“You’re agreeable when drunk.”

“What?”

“I will take my leave for the evening now, Lord Ackerman.”

“Of course.” He takes off his glasses and sets them aside. Through one last puff of his pipe, he calls, “And Levi? Please check on Miss Ackerman in the morning. I do think she’ll be well enough to continue to entertain the guests.”

“Of course, Lord Ackerman.”

-

He approaches her door with a sigh. After the theatrics of the previous evening, it's hard to say what this interaction would hold for him

He raises his hand and knocks. There is no answer after a minute, so he knocks again with more force.

"Yes, Mr. Ackerman?" Her voice is clear and not rough with sleep, but he is preoccupied by her knowing it is him without approaching the door.

"I have a message from Lord Ackerman."

"I am too ill to see him, Mr. Ackerman."

"Miss Ackerman, if you'll allow me to explain - "

"A note will do, Mr. Ackerman. I'm trying to rest and am not in any shape to open the door."

"A note is unnecessary, Miss Ackerman. If you will just listen - "

"Please, Mr. Ackerman. I'm trying to rest."

He sighs again. "I do not have any paper or time for this, Miss Ackerman. If you'll just - "

"You have time to argue with me, Mr. Ackerman. Surely you have time to retrieve some paper." She's closer to the door now - he can hear her voice more clearly.

"Miss Ackerman - " He's cut off by the sound of a cleared throat. Her turns to see Sasha standing down the hall. She motions him closer. With one last glance at the closed door, he walks toward her.

"Mikasa is too embarrassed to be seen today," she explains softly, hands folded in front of her.

"Really? I suppose it will satisfy her to know that Lord Ackerman has excused her for the day." He says this loudly enough to be heard farther down the hall. The door opens behind him, the soft sound of a padded foot breaking the silence.

"A note was unnecessary, was it not, Ms. Ackerman?" He walks away before she can respond.

-

While he cannot truly say that Miss Ackerman was warm to him, she definitely cools in the weeks following the conference. Though there is nothing large to plan, the meetings to discuss running the household are short and perfunctory. She often leaves without a ‘good night.’

It’s annoying, more than anything. Childish, as well. It would bother him more if she weren’t doing her job, but she is.

Christmas arrives and passes with an adequate amount of fanfare in Ackerman Manor. Lord Ackerman gets drunk and loudly announces Levi’s birthday in the middle of the party. His guests cheer, similarly drunk, and he’s forced to listen to them sing.

In the middle of it, he catches Miss Ackerman’s eye across the room. Jean had been finding reasons to stand near her, similarly to how Miss Ackerman seemed to be avoiding being in close proximity with Levi. 

She’s frowning. Jean looks up and follows her line of sight; his shoulders sag a bit when he notices Levi directly across from them. She breaks eye contact with Levi to turn to Jean, as though broken out of her spell.

Levi looks away as well.

-

Miss Ackerman takes her first requested day off shortly after Christmas. Visiting family, she says to Lord Ackerman; Levi is in the room, as usual. She looks at him out of the corner of her eye and doesn’t speak to him. 

“Of course, Miss Mikasa, but don’t let your family steal you away from us,” Lord Ackerman says with a grin. He’s been drinking. Miss Ackerman manages a small laugh.

“I applied for this position because of them, Lord Ackerman. It’s important for me to stay here.” Another sidelong glance at Levi.

“Do you have something to say to me, Miss Ackerman?” Lord Ackerman jumps a bit and looks over at Levi, like he had completely forgotten he was there. The most likely explanation, Levi knows. 

“Of course not, Mr. Ackerman. Why would you assume that?” She doesn’t turn his way. Lord Ackerman laughs. “I will be retiring for the night. Good evening, Lord Ackerman.”

She leaves with a curt nod to Levi, which surprises him.

“Well?” Lord Ackerman says – booms, really – and Levi jumps. “Aren’t you going to go after her?”

Levi scowls. “Why would I? Our rooms are on opposite sides of the manor.”

Lord Ackerman laughs again. “Still a fool, I see.”

“I must insist that I am not, but I believe you are convinced.” He goes to pick up the tray with the empty glass. “I shall be retiring as well. Good evening.”

When Levi leaves the room, he finds Miss Ackerman idling just outside of it. Their eyes meet for the first time in days, but she strides away before any words are exchanged.

Levi can only hope Lord Ackerman doesn’t hear both sets of footsteps as they move away from his study.

-

Upon return from her short holiday, Miss Ackerman’s affect has changed. She glows in the soft light of his parlor during their first meeting of the year.

Against his better judgment, Levi says, “I see your holiday went well.” He expects her to prickle and snap, but she doesn’t. Instead, the corners of her lips curve up.

“It did, Mr. Ackerman. I’m glad you’ve noticed.” She sips her tea, and he watches. The silence stretches until he opens his mouth to break it. She speaks before he can. “I visited my family, as you are aware. I dislike being away from them, but I’m happy to provide for them with my employment at once.”

“Are your family members unable to work?” Again, he expects a mood swing and snapping.

“My adopted brother does, but our mother…she’s too sick; our father disappeared some years ago, forcing us to seek work.” She fiddles with her cup a bit. “It’s always so nice to spend time with them. I do feel rejuvenated after speaking to Carla. I write her letters as they have no telephone, but it’s different in her presence.”

Levi hums and sips his tea, tapping a finger against his notepad. There is nothing more to discuss and he isn’t trying to get her back on track: simply a nervous habit.

“I don’t recall you speaking of your family ever, Mr. Ackerman.” He looks up from where he was staring at the word “clean” on his notepad.

“There isn’t much to say about them, Miss Ackerman. My parents are dead and I have no siblings.” 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ackerman.” He waves a hand.

“It’s all in the past now,” he tells her, a voice inside reminding him of how he does still miss his mother. That, he decides, would only bring more apologies from Miss Ackerman, so he chooses not to disclose it.

“Where was your father employed?” It strikes him at this moment how personal this conversation has become. The last time they met, Miss Ackerman took one line of notes and left before he finished his sentence. It confuses him: the thought that time spent with family can so greatly affect a person.

“With Lord Ackerman, and Lord Ackerman’s father before that. I simply took over when he passed.”

Miss Ackerman hums. “Was that your decision?” Levi stares at her. She elaborates, “Is there another position you’d wish to have taken?”

“No,” he says without thought. “It’s a family tradition, and I chose to follow it.” He finishes his tea and stands. “I must retire now. Good night, Miss Ackerman.”

She does the same, placing her cup on the tray. “Thank you for the tea. Good night, Mr. Ackerman.”

-

One morning in early February, Jean asks for an hour to run an errand the following afternoon. The manor is calm, and Miss Ackerman is out for the day.

“Why an hour?” Levi asks, refolding another napkin. It is unfortunate that he has to do this, but some people never learn.

“I only need an hour.” Levi sets down the now perfectly folded napkin. He looks at Jean.

“All right. An hour. I assume you will exhaust the rest of your duties today in order to stay caught up.”

“Of course! Thank you, Mr. Ackerman!” He leaves before Levi can say anything further. 

What sort of errand could be accomplished in an hour?

-

Miss Ackerman returns the next morning after breakfast with wind-stung cheeks and a small, if a bit forlorn, smile on her face.

“Good morning, Mr. Ackerman,” she says, unwinding a new red scarf from around her neck. 

“Good morning, Miss Ackerman.” He watches her for a moment, remaining silent. 

She removes her coat. “I expect it was quiet yesterday.”

“Indeed.”

“Hmm.” She folds the scarf between her hands. “Mr. Ackerman, I don’t suppose you have time tonight to discuss upcoming events.”

He does not answer immediately, tilting his head to the side as he considers what she said. Lord Ackerman had been entertaining few guests in the recent weeks, and he has no appointments in the upcoming days. There’s a need to keep the house in order, of course. “I may.”

She brightens at his words, standing up straighter than she had been before. “Thank you, Mr. Ackerman. I will bring the tea.”

He nods and walks away, thinking of how to rearrange his schedule to accommodate this. It won’t take much shifting.

-

The meeting goes as it has for the past few months: a few minutes spent on household matters, and the rest of the time spent chatting. Levi develops a headache not long into the discussion and excuses himself. 

“Ah,” she says, standing as well. “I do have to meet…someone soon, so I must be going as well. I do hope you feel better.”

He begins to thank her, but she’s gone before he can open his mouth. 

Whom was she meeting? Why didn’t she name this person? His headache worsens as he attempts to find the answer to this odd situation.

He has to walk past her room to get to his from the parlor. Perhaps he will find out. He’s weighed down by a sudden fatigue. His head throbs. 

Part of him doesn’t want to find out, while the other part is almost desperate to. How annoying.

The hallway is occupied by two figures when he finally broaches it. He slows but does not stop, approaching the pair at a stunted pace. 

The light is low, so he can’t properly see what’s happening until he’s nearby. He stops.

“Um, I know it was yesterday, but…” Jean holds out a modest bouquet of flowers, “Happy Birthday.”

Miss Ackerman’s cheeks redden, the way they had been from coming in from the wind. She accepts the flowers with shaking hands.

“Thank you, Jean.” The name leaves her lips easily. Levi realizes he’d never heard them speak to each other. Perhaps they had before: long, in-depth conversations that he cannot fathom. She had told Jean she was out for her birthday. It is knowledge that Levi had not been privy to.

Something grates at him below the surface of his skin, radiating in the chest area. 

“I do hope,” he says, stepping out of the shadows and closer to the pair, “that you will remain professional amidst this…” He can’t find the word for it, so he leaves the clipped phrase to hang in the air. They jump at the sound of his voice. Perhaps his footsteps had been muffled as he came closer.

No, they were definitely audible. Jean and Miss Ackerman were too entranced with one another to notice. 

“Mr. Ackerman…I –”

“I can assure you, Mr. Ackerman, that we’ve always been professional toward each other. It is not unlike our own working relationship. We will continue to maintain this.” The stain on her cheeks remains, but her expression has become harder to read. 

Jean looks confused and perhaps a bit melancholy. Miss Ackerman reaches out to touch his hand. He looks over at her and relaxes at the softened features of her face.

“The flowers are lovely. I’ve never received them before as a gift like this. I do appreciate the gesture.” He beams at her for a moment, stiffening as Levi approaches. He simply brushes past the two, not sparing a look at Miss Ackerman.

“Remember what I have said, Miss Ackerman.”

“I would be remiss to forget, Mr. Ackerman,” she says after him. He hears her sigh. “Good night, Jean.” 

Levi can hear the grin on his face as Jean says, “Good night, Miss Mikasa.”

He does not sleep well that night. It must have been the headache.

-

“You’ve been performing your duties exceedingly well lately, Levi.”

“Thank you, Lord Ackerman.”

“Perhaps a day off is in order.”

“It’s unlike you to offer such a thing without my asking.”

“Miss Mikasa is taking a day off soon, is she not?”

“She is, Lord Ackerman.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice to spend some time away from the manor with familiar company?”

“I’m sure she has other plans.”

“Oh? I wasn’t specifically referring to Miss Mikasa, Levi. How funny you should assume that.”

“You mentioned her name, Lord Ackerman. One can only assume whom you are thinking of.”

Lord Ackerman laughs. “You’re sharp sometimes, Levi.”

“Thank you, Lord Ackerman.”

“Now, about your day off –”

“I did not agree to take a day off, Lord Ackerman.”

“If you were to accept the offer, Levi, perhaps you and Miss Mikasa could tour a nearby city? I’ll even lend you the car.” He looks pleased with himself.

“It is more likely that she will prefer to spend her time with her family, Lord Ackerman.”

“No, no, she won’t be this time. I asked her yesterday.”

Levi stands silent, watching Lord Ackerman with careful eyes. He elects not to respond immediately, leading Lord Ackerman to continue.

“So you are considering it now.”

“No, Lord Ackerman. I am simply impressed by your insistence of this subject.”

“Wouldn’t it be interesting, to become further acquainted with another member of the staff?”

“I have no desire to tour a nearby city on my day off, Lord Ackerman. And I likely will not accept your offer.”

“Well, Levi, I suppose that is your loss.”

“I understand it would be your loss more than mine, Lord Ackerman.” 

He laughs again, shaking his head. “You really are sharp today, Levi.”

“Thank you, Lord Ackerman.”

-

Miss Ackerman, to his surprise, stays at the manor on her day off. Lord Ackerman pestered him for the good part of a week to join her before giving up. Lord Ackerman has badgered him in the past, but never for as long or as vehemently as he did for this subject. 

Miss Ackerman walks around the grounds with an expression he can’t place. He finds himself stopping at windows as he moves through the manor.

When he brings Lord Ackerman his lunch, Levi sees her eating with Sasha, a small smile gracing her features. In the mid-afternoon, she looks off into the distance from her perch on a bench. She strokes flowers in the garden with the tips of her fingers.

Her actions trouble him more than he feels they should. Were she off with her family, he would not be preoccupied with these thoughts. 

He retires to his room early, before she reenters the manor. If he hears footsteps pausing past his door, he ignores them while sipping on tea.

-

“I have a subject that has been plaguing me for some days, Mr. Ackerman.”

“Really.” They’re in his parlor again for their now-nightly tea. While there is little to be done in terms of planning and convening to make sure the house is running smoothly, Levi finds himself spending more time than usual with her.

“Yes. It started after Lord Ackerman told me – well, I suppose it’s not important what caused my preoccupation.” She turns her face away from him.

“I hope he wasn’t being unkind.”

“No, no, of course not. He’s been kind to me following the first night of the conference: through most of my time at Ackerman Manor.”

“Then why do his words trouble you so?” He pauses. “Are you too warm, Miss Ackerman? I can open –”

“No, Mr. Ackerman. I’m perfectly fine. I don’t understand why you would come to such a conclusion.” She looks at him again before smoothing a hand over her brow and settling it on her cheek. The silence stretches as they stare at each other.

“Miss Ackerman –”

“Do you ever think of your future here, Mr. Ackerman? Of the possibilities time holds for you?” He opens his mouth but closes it as quickly. It’s not a question to be taken lightly. He sips at his now lukewarm tea, dabbing at the corner of his mouth after setting it back in its saucer. 

“I can’t say I have, Miss Ackerman. Not for some time.”

“May I ask why you haven’t?” She drops her hand from her face to fiddle with her cup. It sits in front of her, mostly full and no longer steaming.

“It’s of no matter. If you are unhappy with the tea selection –”

“It is not of no matter, Mr. Ackerman. Surely you have considered what life will hold once Lord Ackerman no longer employs you.”

“That will only happen when he passes on. I can bring you a different blend –”

“He cannot have many years ahead of him. What will happen when he is gone, Mr. Ackerman?”

“I will simply find employment elsewhere.” He moves to stand, reaching for her cup. “If you’ll allow me –”

She picks up the cup and takes a great gulp of tea. She offers him a reproachful look as she sets it back down.

“Please stop trying to avoid the subject, Ms. Ackerman.”

“I feel you are purposefully ignoring my responses, Miss Ackerman.” 

“Perhaps if you would be more thoughtful in them, Mr. Ackerman, I –”

“I can assure you I have considered my future, Miss Ackerman, but it is of little consequence –” 

“Your life is hardly of little consequence, Mr. Ackerman.”

“If you’ll let me finish, Miss Ackerman.” She takes a breath and relaxes, pressing her lips together. “It’s of little consequence to you, Miss Ackerman.” She pales and swallows visibly.

“I’m sorry?”

“My future is my own business, Miss Ackerman.” He sits down again, realizing he’d been standing when he found himself looking down at her. “Your concern is unnecessary.”

She clears her throat. “Surely, Mr. Ackerman, you have a desire to share your time with someone else following the end of your employment at Ackerman Manor.” She bites the words out like they are leaving her mouth with great reluctance.

“I can’t say I’ve taken it into great consideration.”

“Really.” She looks into her cup, lifting it and setting it back down. “I’ve always wanted a family.” They sit in silence.

“You’re still young, Miss Ackerman. I’m certain you will…” He trails off. He clears his throat. He runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t continue.

She meets his eyes with a solemn expression. “You, too, are young, Mr. Ackerman.”

“Indeed, Miss Ackerman.” 

Someone walks past the room, the footsteps jarring them out of another extended silence and staring match.

“I think we’ve thoroughly discussed this topic, Miss Ackerman. It’s getting late…” She tips her face down, allowing her hair to shield her features from him. She appears calm when she stands.

“I believe we have. Good night, Mr. Ackerman. Thank you for the tea.”

“Good night, Miss Ackerman.” She waits at the door while he gathers up the dishes. He turns his back for a moment. When he picks up the tray and starts toward the door, he finds her gone. 

-

As he prepares for bed that night, he wonders what might have compelled Miss Ackerman to introduce such a topic. It’s true that their conversations have become more…informal as of late, but something about this evening held more significance than those before.

He thinks of the red of her cheeks as she brought up Lord Ackerman’s words (if they were unimportant, why did she mention it?). Was it because the room was too warm? But she lost the color in her face not long after…

And where did the – dare he think it – devastation from her expression come from? His future is his own to consider. He never factored in another party. His predecessors never married: perhaps one could say they were married to their work. He assumed his life would be no different, especially considering the downfall of many great men before him who chose a separate life.

It is only when the clock strikes midnight that he realizes he has been unable to fall asleep. The bed is comfortable; the temperature of his room is bearable; there is nothing in the environment that would lead to sleeplessness.

He gets up and pulls a book from his shelves, sighing as the light flickers on. He had trouble sleeping in the past, but as of late, he hasn’t had issues. Perhaps there is something calming in Miss Ackerman’s presence.

He claps the book shut at this thought. Is that the case? Is this errant thought correct? She has begun to challenge him more, allows moods to affect her, and has eagerly argued with him in the past. In fact, the night before last they’d had a rigorous discussion, though the topic of which almost escapes him. 

He does remember the light in her eyes as she countered him, and the way her hands moved with her words. She reached out to grab his hand once, withdrawing as she became aware of the action.

They walked away without agreement, but he didn’t feel irritated in the least. He might have even felt a certain peace as he fell asleep that night, knowing that Miss Ackerman could challenge him now without grating as his nerves. It is almost as if she has learned more about him than he’s intended to reveal.

He hears the noise of someone moving about in the hall. An intruder? But the doors are locked – he checked before retiring to his room. Since he has nothing else to do, he leaves his room, putting on a light robe on the way out.

He finds Miss Ackerman standing in the foyer, gripping the sleeves of her coat as she crosses her arms over her front. She shakes where she stands, jumping when he clears his throat.

She stares at him with wide eyes, her hair windblown and her cheeks damp.

“Miss Ackerman,” he says. He stands a few feet away from her, watching as she drops her arms to her sides. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” she reveals, rubbing at her face with her sleeve. “And I had an errand that needed to be taken care of immediately.”

The clock down the hall click and chimes, announcing the time: two am.

“Surely it could have waited until the rain stopped.” She frowns and wipes her face again.

“It isn’t raining, Mr. Ackerman. It is a bit humid, however.” He raises an eyebrow and says nothing, waiting for more.

He takes a breath in and lets it out.

“Perhaps you can join me for some tea to help us both sleep.” He waits for a denial, but she nods, letting out a shuddering breath.

“I do think it would be a good remedy, Mr. Ackerman.”

“Of course, Miss Ackerman.” He brushes past her. She doesn’t follow.

He finds her sitting at the table in his room, a hand pressed to her face. She stares out the window and starts when he sets the tray down.

She has shed her coat and is clad simply in her nightwear. It’s a simple gown: pale and unadorned. While it doesn’t cling to her, Levi can still see hints of her figure underneath. He looks away.

He pours the tea to a quiet ‘thank you;’ she fiddles with her cup as she did before. 

“What errand was necessary to be run at two a.m.?” She looks up at him with wet eyes. “If I may ask.”

“A letter,” she says. “I felt it necessary to send it immediately. I have no other way to correspond with the party receiving it.”

“Of course,” he says. He sips his tea. She follows suit, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Perhaps you’d find more comfort in talking to Sasha.”

“No, no,” she says quickly. “I wouldn’t want to wake her.” At his frown, she adds, “And, of course, you were already awake, Mr. Ackerman.”

He sighs. “You are correct, Miss Ackerman.” He shifts in his seat, taking another sip of his tea. 

Her knee bumps into his, and it just occurs to him that they are sitting very close. He must have adjusted the chairs: or had she? He does not know, and, really, it doesn’t matter.

A lock of hair falls into her face from where it had been tucked behind her ear. He set his cup down and reaches out to brush it back, surprised by the weight that descends on him: the sleepless night, his current action, the dark of her eyes.

“I’m very tired, Mr. Ackerman,” she says, leaning toward him. He catches her face in his hands, fingertips brushing her cheeks, thumbs pressed against the corners of her lips.

“As am I, Miss Ackerman,” he says, tilting her face a bit and bringing their lips together. The old clock down the hall clicks and plays its hourly song, followed by three sharp strikes. He strokes her cheek with the chimes.

It’s a simple action, this kiss, and they withdraw from each other after the third note from the clock. “Perhaps we should try to sleep.”

“I agree, Mr. Ackerman,” she says, moving to press her face into his shoulder. She breathes him in. He can’t push her away. He finds himself laying his head on her shoulder. His nose brushes against her neck. He imagines he can feel her pulse, but he doesn’t think he’s close enough to do that.

His hand slides up her forearm, stopping below her elbow. Her other hand curls around his wrist, loosely enough that she is barely holding it. Her knee brushes him again when she shifts closer. 

They will both have abnormal aches after awakening for the day in a few hours. He dozes off after he notes her evened, heavy breathing. Her lips move against his nightshirt. He wonders if she talks in her sleep and is struck by the desire to know if she does. 

Maybe he will. He dozes off to that thought.

-

He wakes up to the early morning light filtering through his window. For a moment, he can’t figure out why his cheek is pressed against the grain of his table. The floorboards creak. He lifts his head and winces at how stiff it is.

Miss Ackerman pauses at the door, smoothing her hair. The morning light suits her. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ackerman. Truly, I am sorry.”

“Miss Ackerman, what –” But she leaves before he can ask what she is apologizing for.

In the few days that follow, Miss Ackerman is withdrawn. She continues to meet with him at night, but it is as though she has returned to her cool phase from so many months ago.

After the second night, he feels he understands the meaning behind the apology she gave him. Sleep-deprivation was the cause of the lapse in judgment for both of them. 

“Miss Mikasa has been acting strange as of late,” Lord Ackerman comments the next morning over the rim of his cup. “You haven’t broken her heart, have you?” Levi stares him, choosing to wait for clarification, if there is any. “What? No denials? No affirmatives? How am I supposed to have any fun around here?”

“I was unaware that gossip of the romantic endeavors of your staff was a great source of pleasure for you, Lord Ackerman.” There is no laugh in response, only the tap of a pipe. A match flares to life in the silence between them.

“Really, Levi. You haven’t noticed that Miss Mikasa has been acting strange recently?” 

Aware of a possible trap, Levi says, “I have noticed that, Lord Ackerman.”

“And you have no idea what the cause for it is?”

“No,” he says while thinking otherwise. Lord Ackerman can stand not to know his every move. 

“Don’t you two talk late into the night?”

“No.” 

Lord Ackerman stares out the window, smoking and ignoring his breakfast. “It would be a shame if we were to lose her.”

“Are you finished with your breakfast, Lord Ackerman?”

-

The revelation of her resignation should not surprise him, but it does. He feels as though someone has struck him.

“My family…they expect me to join them when they leave.” The letter on the table is face down and crumpled, like she had been gripping it tightly. He does not try to see its content.

“Of course, Miss Ackerman. Will you be staying until a replacement is found?”

“Oh, of course, Mr. Ackerman, of course. I couldn’t bear to leave without doing so.” She bites her lip, staring into her cup of tea. “I wouldn’t want to leave with regrets.” She presses her lips and opens her mouth as though she wants to say more, but shakes her head and sips her tea instead.

-

The day Miss Ackerman departs is solemn. Sasha cries. Jean looks to be on the verge of tears. Miss Ackerman stands stoically at the door, accepting the well wishes. Her face is pale and there are dark circles around her eyes.

Lord Ackerman is away, having bid her goodbye the night before with great apologies for missing her departure.

She turns to him finally, lips set in a line and eyes dark and guarded.

“Thank you for all you have taught me, Mr. Ackerman.”

“Thank you for your time, Miss Ackerman.” There is more to be said, he knows. He’s sure everyone in the room knows, and he is simply the last to realize it. But there is no time to say it, and, really, what good would it do to say it now?

And, with that, Miss Ackerman leaves, looking back only as the car pulls away.

-

Lord Ackerman calls Levi into his study when he returns the next night. His mood is poor and Levi knows and doesn’t know what to expect from him.

He starts to light his pipe and stops, setting everything down and looking at Levi.

“It’s a great loss, losing Miss Mikasa.”

“I’m sure the new housekeeper will shoulder her duties well.”

There’s a pause as Lord Ackerman stares out the window. “I thought you would have done more to keep her here.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Lord Ackerman.”

He frowns, leaning back in his chair. “Levi, you must be a fool.”

Levi looks out at the setting sun. “I suppose I am, Lord Ackerman."

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear people's thoughts on this, if only because it took me so long to finish. 
> 
> I commissioned lolakasa on tumblr to draw [my favorite scene](http://hashire.tumblr.com/post/175592414607/im-so-excited-to-finally-share-this-i). Please enjoy it as much as I do.


End file.
